Well it literally has been A WHILE! Whoops. I've been keeping busy wiyh school/life in general and was busy all summer long with my job at Vista. I'm looking forward to subbing some there soon.

Updates: THE dress has been ordered. The photographers have been booked for the wedding day June 8th and for our engagement session on Oct 20th. Wedding plans are moving along nicely: next up cake tasting/deposit, paying off ceremony site/dresses/photographers, finding Clint/groomsmen wear, and Clint is working on the invitations.

School is going well and I'm currently still trying to figure out when I'm studying abroad. I'm taking intermediate French 1, World Lit 1, German Lit, and advanced German 1.

Things are going well with me and Clint, nothing more than the occasional argument. Now on the other hand, there's a chance that there's a hiccup with who is in our wedding party.

I spent some time at Clint's so we could see each other and I did some thorough cleaning in the kitchen, the fridge and the utility room to try and help out. The utility room was covered in clothes laying in the floor. Most of them looked like they were Mitch's and so in attempt of being nice and not letting that hinder my productiveness, I go ahead and wash all that laundry and put it on his bed. Later while I was cooking dinner for them, Mitch comes home so I tell him about the laundry and how most of it looked like it was his and that I put it in his bed clean. Also said to look through and check to see if it was all his and if it wasn't to give it to me I would take care of it.

Wednesday morning rolls around and I'm having a pretty good day when Clint texts me while I'm in class, saying worst day ever. At first he wouldn't tell me and just said it was work but then later when on the phone with him, he told me that my cleaning and me being over there too much had upset Mitch and that the two of them got into a huge argument over Facebook messenger and texts. Clint still refuses to tell me what was exactly said but did tell me the general response from those who had - coworkers ticked off and livid with how mitch treats his friends and one even offered Clint a place to stay until he finds his own place and his brother saying that he was the most inconsiderate douchbag ever and said he was done with him. Clint even himself said that that waste final straw and he wasn't going to put up with it anymore. He choked up when the wedding party was mentioned and we had already previously talked about it - how if Mitch continued to be flat out mean and act like a douchebag to me, then I couldn't have him in our wedding party. Clint understood and whole-heatedly agreed. After the blow-up between them, Clint told me that he realized just how important I am to him and that I'm more than a girlfriend, fiancé and best friend to him.

So pretty much, Clint's friend Mitch is now no more than his idiot landlord who doesn't allow women over unless there's something in it for him. I am no longer allowed over there.

I still feel terrible and think that I caused all this. Shari and Clint both have tried reasoning with me saying it's not my fault he got that way over me cleaning and that he's the one with the problem. I understand that and all but I still feel terrible. I thought Mitch was my friend. I really did. I still have no idea what he said and I want to know. It hurts a lot, thinking that someone I used to call friend despises my presence that much and is that ungrateful and selfish.

I want to ask God why are there people so selfish and inconsiderate yet still am to claim to be blessed. He doesn't have a care in the world for money even though he claims he does. If he really did, then he couldn't afford eating out every single meal and going to at least 20 concerts a year and go out drinking in Dickson every weekend if not more. Then there's people like Clint, who is so caring and willing to help to the point he becomes jaded with it yet he still does it. He's a hard worker and cannot stand not being busy yet is pinching money just so he can pay his bills and help his poor fiancé afford their wedding and her a running set of wheels with full coverage. Why is it that the lazy selfish douche has it so easy while the hard-working selfless struggles? Don't try telling me of the parables in the bible - I do not care. I know and fully understand life isn't fair. I guess I'm tire of Clint being walked on by 'friends' like Mitch.

Where's the Love?

So I think it's incredibly sad that when I'm in so much pain to the point where I'm sure my leg is broken, my fiance's new coworkers and family were more worried about me than my own family.  Even my coworkers were too.  My mom acted like it was an inconvenience, my brother was his usual autistic self, my sister was the only one slightly concerned poking fun at me for being clumsy, dad more worried about my autistic brother getting back in college.  The last straw was I never ask for help unless I need it, and thanks to my medical bills I needed it so I could starve yet pay my car payment.  I asked my pop-pop and he replied that I was an adult.  I feel like I've been totally abandoned by my family.  I don't blame my pop-pop and I'm not mad at him in the slightest.  After how my dad has treated us all when it comes to HIS money, it crushed me.  My dad threw a huge fit recently about how all his money was disappearing before he could use any of it to live large.  Never mind he has three kids and a disabled wife.  Let's rewarded the kid who doesn't do anything with his time besides playing video games with all your attention and make sure he gets to where he needs to in life - never mind it's almost 20 yrs too late.  He should have had this help years ago. 

I've had some issues with all this in the past where it seems that my family just simply does not care unless they stand to gain something.  I'm tired of getting hurt by my own family. 

As I'm typing this my dad is demanding to know whether or not I support the gay agenda.  Hi Dad nice to hear from you too.  Yes my leg is slightly better, still hurts a little.  How was my day? It was ok, how was yours?  Isn't this how normal families talk to one another?  Like I would tell him how I truly feel about it.  Morally I believe it's a sin, legally I don't know.  When it comes down to equal rights then yes.  But only then. 

This answer is demanded of me all because I said something via facebook about how I was so sick and tired of seeing both sides gripe each other out and how they both need to grow up and could use some tolerance toward the other.  I respond well to common decency and if I can't see it then what's the point of picking sides?